Scott Campbell, This Is For You

I just finished reading Stephen R. Lawhead's "Hood." Once again, he has totally stolen my brilliant idea for a book. He keeps beating me to the punch. I love him, I love him, I love him. Maybe not so much for the quality of his writing (the dialogue is pretty stilted sometimes and he spends a lot of time describing the natural surroundings, skim, skim, skim), but his subject matter and plots cannot be beat, and his research is impeccable. Someday I will write him a letter. Maybe tomorrow. I can't wait to read the next one.

Another Dream

I dreamed last night I was coaching a Little League team at Cassie's church. I don't know which is more implausible - the one where my adult dog was implanted into my uterus and I gave birth to him or the one where I teach little children to play team sports.

Another Weird Dream

Last night I dreamed I gave birth to a tiny little Toad (my dog, not a real toad - gross). He was about the size of my index finger, but he acted like a grown up dog. I carried him around in a little plastic bag, and he kept escaping from it. The weirdest part was that somehow Toad had been implanted in my uterus - it was not a naturally occurring thing. I think I was trying to save his life or correct his behavior or something. Like, maybe if he could start over and have a new, happier puppyhood he wouldn't be such a little bastard. Anyway, it was weird.

In other news, I am enjoying my first week of freedom. I actually forgot what day it was today, so that is a good sign that I am starting to relax. J's family is coming in tomorrow, and we have a lot of stuff planned for this weekend, so the Christmas season is officially starting. We haven't even put up a tree or bought a single present yet. Well, that's not true. J bought me an Xbox so that I could play "Munch's Odyssey." He gave it to me already so I can play with it while I'm on my break. I was very excited.

Papers Done

I turned in my final paper last night. Let the grading marathon commence!

Dream

So, last night I had this dream that my Bibliography and Research Methods class all went out to dinner together. My professor brought along a distinguished colleague of his from another university. Imagine my surprise when we pulled up to the Playboy mansion and there were, like, 20 topless girls walking around. There were also a ton of little cocktails that my professor had made in advance for us to drink. Getting into the spirit of things, I took my top off, grabbed a cocktail, and started looking around. The next thing I know, everyone is sitting down at tables waiting for dinner to be served. They are all dressed. I hear someone on a loudspeaker or something calling me to come sit down and eat. I, of course, have no top on, so I must find something to wear. Lucky me, I found a T-shirt stand, so I stole a T-shirt from it. By this time, though, my professor was really mad at me. He found me just as I was leaving the T-shirt stand and began to lecture me on my inappropriate behavior and how disappointed he is. I began to apologize when I realized that he hasn't graded my paper yet! OMG! I started to blurt out apologies and panic a little bit. I was about halfway through my "I was being especially inconsiderate of your personal time..." speech when I woke up, drenched in sweat, and started laughing at myself. The end.

Out of Commission

I am unavailable for social interaction until Monday, Dec. 15. I have one paper due tomorrow and another due on Wednesday, plus a group project due on Tuesday. I have barely started, and I have a total of 40 pages to write. That's like 2/3 of my Master's thesis. Then I have my students' last essays to grade. THEN I have to grade their final exams. What have I gotten myself into? Any and all words of encouragement would be appreciated!

Cleveland Pictures

Peyton Manning putting on his helmet.

Merry Christmas, Jonathan!

The Browns vs. the Colts!

Rock and Roll!

Cleveland

We are back from Cleveland. I will post pictures tomorrow when I am back in Dallas. The trip was great! Better than either of us expected, I think. We arrived late Saturday afternoon and got a cab to our hotel which was right downtown. Our room had a great view of the city, and the hotel was within walking distance of a ton of restaurants and also the football stadium.

On top of everything, the hotel was hosting a convention for the movie "A Christmas Story." They had a walk-through model of the house and a prop museum, and they were showing the movie in a continuous loop on the big screen all day long as well as airing some documentaries about the making of the movie. Apparently some of the actors were there, too, but we didn't see any of them in person. Then, that night there was a Christmas parade down the main street, and our room had such a good view we ordered a bottle of champagne and watched it from our window. Fun, fun, fun! We had no idea there would be so much going on!

Sunday we slept in and ate our hotel breakfast, then moseyed on over to the stadium. There were a ton of people walking over at the same time, and they were all wearing Browns logos all over their clothes. Jonathan turned to me and said, "I don't know what to do with myself!" He's so used to being the only Browns fan, and there we were surrounded by an entire city of Browns fans. It was fun!

Our seats were awesome. We sat on the Colts' sideline, and right after we sat down I was like, "Hey, that's Peyton Manning right there drinking Gatorade." And it totally was. I am proud of myself for recognizing a football player. If I had yelled something at him he totally would have heard me. We were that close. He's skinny. I wasn't expecting that.

After the game (the Browns lost 10-6), we strolled over to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was going to close in an hour and a half, and the staff was all, "You guys had better hurry!" But, really, an hour or so of looking at rock and roll paraphernalia is all I can take, and I felt like I saw plenty of stuff in that time. My favorite thing was a T-shirt that the drummer of U2 made in high school art class. He silkscreened "U2" onto a white T-shirt with a green circle on it when he was like 17. It's the first U2 T-shirt ever. They also had a collection of their rejection letters from record companies. I thought it was the best part of the exhibit, and I'm not even a huge U2 fan. I just thought their exhibit actually told a story about the band instead of just displaying a bunch of their crap.

I also actually liked the Jimi Hendrix exhibit even though I can't honestly say I've ever sat down and listened to a Jimi Hendrix song. That's not to say I haven't heard one in passing - I've just never made a deliberate effort. They had a bunch of his drawings on display. Two of them were of medieval knights fighting. The rest were mostly football team drawings and motor boats. One was of a good shepherd and his flock. Looking at teenage Jimi Hendrix's drawings made me want to listen to grown-up Jimi Hendrix's music. Jonathan said he has a Hendrix album. I will have to listen to it.

We got up at 4 am this morning to catch our plane to Dallas. All went well, we got our Toad from my mom's house, and came home. I took a nap and drove to my class. Now I'm in Waco procrastinating with this blog. Whew!

LoveErinDesigns

So, my friend Erin has a new online store for the jewelry that she makes. I just bought this necklace which I am completely in love with:




If you are in the market for some interesting and lovely jewelry, check out her store at LoveErinDesigns.etsy.com!

Arm Bruises

I got these Saturday night holding down the Toad while Jon pulled a burr out of his back paw. He's quite a little spitfire!

Weekly Blog

I've realized that I really only update this once a week now. That makes me kind of sad, but I really don't have anything to talk about unless you want me to talk about school, school, school which I do not want to do.

I have another long week this week. I have to go to a conference in San Antonio this weekend for my stupid Bibliography and Research class. Although things are looking up about the conference because my idol Norris Lacy will be there. You may recall as I was applying for grad school last year, I had a short e-mail conversation with him, and he was soooooo nice to me. I'm a little bit in love with him. And I get to meet him this weekend if I'm brave enough to introduce myself. Eeek!

I'm having lunch with my mom today so I can retrieve some pants she hemmed for me. And I'm writing a paper that has ended up being way too mired in theology to keep my interest. Blech. On the other hand, my class tonight was cancelled so I get to stay in Dallas until this evening which means I get to have dinner with Jonathan tonight. Yay!

More Cheaters!

So, a few weeks ago I caught a kid cheating in my afternoon class. I gave her and the boy she copied off of a zero. This incident really pissed me off, and I was just starting to like my afternoon class again when I caught another kid plagiarizing. Or, rather, the nifty plagiarism software program caught the kid. I set up a conference with him today, and he 'fessed up without much struggle. Then his eyes teared up. He quietly said "Thank you" when I offered him the chance to rewrite the paper with a grade penalty, and then we moved on to another subject. He left in a pretty dejected mood. When it was over, I went to my TA meeting and got a nosebleed from the stress. Stupid f#$&ing cheaters!

Bitchy Comment

Can everyone please stop talking about the weather? You'd think they'd never seen autumn before. Just put on your hoodie and shut up.

Funny Picture

Lara took these pictures of us on Saturday. I like them. They're kind of funny. I wish I were clever enough to add witty captions.

We went to a Halloween party. I was "Someone Who Has an Actual Social Life." Lara and Shannon were Juno MacGuff and Paulie Bleaker, and their costumes were awesome.

Harry Ransom Center

Be prepared to nerd out with me for a second...

I got to see three original William Caxton books today - "The History of Troy," which is the first book ever printed in England, "The Canterbury Tales," which turned out to be only two pages, not the whole book, and "The arte and crafte for to knowe well to deye," which I wrote my Master's thesis on. It was awesome.

Then, I got to see a 1493 printing of John Gower's Confessio Amantis in its original binding: Two wooden blocks stuck together with a piece of animal skin that was drilled into the wood with wooden pegs which were held in place by pieces of twine. Amazing! I had never seen a binding that old before. I was so afraid I was going to break it. And there wasn't anybody even supervising me! What are they thinking???

So, it was a fun trip. Also, whoever re-bound "The arte and crafte" had randomly stuck in a page of Latin at the beginning. I haven't had Latin in two years, but I could read enough to figure out it was a wedding mass. I was proud of myself!

What to Blog About?

Monday is the day I have my weekly freak out, so I am in a mood. Here are things that are going on:

1) We are starting week #3 of NO WORKERS IN OUR HOUSE. We have no kitchen and no laundry room and our contractor keeps lying to us about when people are coming and what exactly they will be doing when they get there. I guess that second lie doesn't really matter since no one ever comes.

2) I left my bookbag at home today. I was running late and in a big hurry and since we are currently living in a perpetual state of disorganization, I just left it. So, my book for class today, my students' graded papers, and the book I need for class on Wednesday are all in Dallas. Ugh.

3) I am in Waco until Thursday this week due to the stupidest class field trip ever to the UT library in Austin. Hopefully I will at least get to see an original book printed by William Caxton. That's the guy who printed Malory's Morte d'Arthur for those of you who don't have a Master's degree in Medieval Studies. He's kind of a big deal. You know, among those of us who do have a Master's degree in Medieval Studies.

4) We put Toad in doggie day care today to keep him out of the way of the non-existent workers in our house. He did OK. And it was relatively cheap and close to Jonathan's office, so I think we may have a place to take him when we need to instead of imposing on all our friends! Woo hoo! Unfortunately, they are not doing day care the rest of this week b/c some of their staff are out sick and the Barretts - being the fabulous friends that they are - are letting Toad stay at their house.

5) After another weekend of "nothing but work, work, work all the time" (that's my new motto) I am so ready for a vacation. I just need to hold out until December. I am planning out my schedule for next semester, and I am purposely signing up for nothing but literature courses because the work load this semester with my research class is too much. It is a miserable way to live.

6) Currently have on AMC, and they are playing "The Sting." I'm sad Paul Newman is gone. And Robert Redford was sooooo handsome. And I don't even like blondes.

New Lamp

I just won this on E-bay. It's pretty much my favorite thing ever.
I don't really like the shade, but the lamp part is AWESOME!

Toad's Waco Vet

I had dinner the other night with one of my former college roommates, Kristin. Since college she has gotten her veterinary degree, and since her husband is a professional musician whose band is based out of Waco, she has moved back here. I found her on Facebook, and I was thrilled to see that I actually knew someone in Waco. She has a veterinary practice about 15 minutes from my apartment.

So, this afternoon Jonathan was looking for doggie daycare places for Toad, and we realized that he has not gotten a Bordetella vaccination in the last 6 months. Doggie daycares will not accept dogs without that vaccination, and Toad is with me in Waco right now, so we kind of thought we were screwed because I couldn't take him to the vet. I was like, "I don't know any vets in Waco!" But, then, I remembered, I actually do!

I called and they fit me in within 30 mins of my phone call. I drove him over there, Kristin herself actually gave him the shot which took all of 15 seconds, and we were home within another 20 minutes. Easy! And she didn't even charge me for the visit, just the medicine. Sometimes it's really nice to have the right connections!

I Hate That I Haven't Posted

But really, I've just been doing school stuff. Well, that's not true. Last weekend we bought a ton of crap for our house. We bought new bedroom furniture - we totally bought a KING bed. Can you believe it? We are jumping from a full to a king. And my fantasy is that we will never fight over the sheets again! That necessitated buying new mattresses, and we got the pillowtop kind. Seriously, I feel like we're gong to be in the lap of luxury. No more 20-year-old mattress! And I am not exaggerating. My parents bought our current mattress for me when I was 11. I am now 31. Count'em - that's 20 years! No wonder my back hurts.

We also bought a new comforter and sheets, and Jonathan bought us a living room rug this week. We also found a "fainting chaise" for the reading room. I am going to come home and faint on it everyday until I get on my own nerves.

Other than that, I have nothing really to report. My classes -both kinds - are fine, and I won't bore any of you with the details. I am staying in Waco until Saturday this week which is kind of sad, since I'm lonely. But I just couldn't stomach driving to Dallas and back again to attend the silly Parents' Weekend coffee I have to go to on Saturday morning. In even more boring news, gas in Waco is $2.95!

One good thing is that Toad is here with me. He is being pretty good. I think he likes this apartment - it's harder for him to lose me here than at home.

Worst Movies Ever

Hey, there, world. My students' next assignment is to evaluate a movie. I have a list of good ones, but I am having trouble thinking of bad ones. I'd appreciate it if you would leave me a comment with the worst movies you've ever seen so I can add them to my list!

Book Sale!

Yesterday audible.com sent me an e-mail that they are having a book sale, and little did they know that it was an awesome birthday present for yours truly. I bought 3 books for less than $15. I am downloading them now. Today also just happens to be the day my account renews, and I get my monthly credit, so I'm actually downloading 4 books today!!! Here they are:

"The Road" by Cormac McCarthy
"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon
"Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin
"Atonement" by Ian McEwan

I am so happy! Now, which one do I start with?

Sorry, Katie!

So, of course, immediately after I published the last post about Katie's annoying cell phone ring, I discovered that it was actually an alarm she had set so that she would get up and leave me this before I left for class:



It had a little bottle of Eau de Toilette in it in a cute little flower tube. Adorable and so nice of her. Plus she totally gave me a ride today when I forgot that I drove myself to campus, then walked home only to discover that my car was still on campus!

That'll teach me to be grumpy!

The Most Annoying Cell Phone Ring Ever

I have just discovered it. At precisely 6:52 this morning, my roommate's cell phone began to ring. It is now 7:23, and it has not stopped yet! The song: "Alouette." You may have heard Pepe Le Pew sing it when you were a kid. It goes a little something like this:

Alouette, gentille alouette,
Alouette, je te plumerai
Je te plumerai la tete,
Je te plumerai la tete,
Et la tete, et la tete
Alouette, alouette,
Ooooooooooh!
Alouette, gentille Alouette,
Alouette, je te plumerai.

Translation:
Lark, gentle lark
Lark, I'm going to pluck you
I am going to pluck your head
I am going to pluck your head
And your head, and your head
Lark, lark
Ooooooh!
Lark, gentle lark,
Lark, I'm going to pluck you.

Then it continues with different parts of the bird's body: I am going to pluck your throat, your beak, your neck, etc., etc.

This website has a pretty cheesy version of it if you want to hear the tune:
http://www.songsforteaching.com/french/parapluie/alouette.htm

It's probably the most annoying song ever. Especially at 6:52 in the morning. Played in tinny cell phone beeps. Oh. My. Goodness. Now I kind of want to go pluck HER head.

Backyard

I'm rediscovering the joys of having a backyard. Dallas has been blessed with absolutely gorgeous weather this week, and when we went to go water the grass and take our Jeep-ful of moving boxes to the new house yesterday, I decided to spend most of my time sitting in the yard by the pool. It was really relaxing and fun. Toad had a pretty good time, too, as you can see:

He was actually on his back sunbathing before I got up and bothered him with my camera. He has become quite the one for communing with nature.

I am getting more and more excited about actually living in the house. I think I will like it. Even though it is totally broken again - something is wrong with the water pressure now because we couldn't run both sprinklers at the same time. Whatever it is, it must be fixed. We picked out our granite countertops this weekend. They are painting this week, and the utility room is finished, so it will be ready for us to move in next Saturday. We are just waiting on the cabinets to come in, etc. so we can have a working kitchen!

New Bed

I am feeling better today. Still tired, but better. Another week accomplished. Yay! So, Jonathan came down to Waco with me on Wednesday since he was working from home this week. His mission: to find a bed for me with a REAL mattress to sleep on. I have been sleeping on an air mattress for the last 5 weeks in Waco. I already had a bed picked out, but the trouble was finding a vehicle big enough to carry it, plus we had to find a mattress. All for a reasonable price. The bed I found was at Wal-Mart, and it is a cute little affair with 3 built-in drawers and a bookcase headboard. Assembly required. But "assembly required" means it is in a box small enough to fit in our Jeep, and my wise husband had enough foresight to think to bring the toolkit along with him. So, we bought the bed.


So, today, Jonathan - my hero - built me the bed and bought me a mattress which he had delivered to the apartment. I built the bookcase when I got home from teaching class. Here is the final product:





My room feels like a real room now instead of a temporary camping site! Thank you, Jonathan!

Tired

I'm exhausted. It's not the driving. It might be the 8:00 am class I have to teach. It's definitely worrying about moving. It's definitely worrying about getting all my work done. I am on a pretty tight tether right now, and I feel kind of close to snapping. Little things seem like insurmountable obstacles that I just can't deal with right now. I feel like I am just trying to keep my head above water and survive. Getting things done early is like a big joke to me, and I have no idea how I'm going to fit moving into this whole picture. Jonathan is packing up all the art right now, and I'm sitting here blogging because I just wrote a paper proposal, and I am too exhausted to get up and help. So then I feel guilty, too. My birthday is next week, and I am thinking of anything I have to commit to in order to celebrate it as a chore. I don't have time to celebrate my birthday! Ugh, I'm in a miserable mood.

Remodeling

Before:
















Now:
















And look what they found under the green wallpaper!

Jurassic Park: The Musical

I had really bad insomnia last night, and when I finally got to sleep, I dreamt I was in "Jurassic Park: The Musical." I actually woke myself up singing in my sleep, then I couldn't fall asleep again because the stupid tune I was singing kept going through my head.

The American Dream

I'm taking a Colonial American Literature class this semester, and for Monday I had to read excerpts from the diaries and journals of several colonial settlers, including Capt. John Smith who served briefly as governor of the Jamestown colony. He was also the one who established rather good relations with the native people and became friends with Pocahontas. Here's a picture:

Anyway, so he wrote several books about his experiences in the New World, some more authentic than others, including "A Description of New England" published in 1616 which ends with a sales pitch to potential new settlers. Two lines in particular struck me:

My purpose is not to persuade children from their parents; men from their wives; nor servants from their masters; only, such as with free consent may be spared: But that each parish, or village, in city, or country, that will but apparel their fatherless children, of thirteen or fourteen years of age, or young married people, that have small wealth to live on; here by their labor may live exceedingly well...

Isn't that the American dream? This is a land of opportunity where no matter who you are or where you come from, if you work hard, you will succeed.

I've been watching the political conventions the last two weeks and have felt a little sickened by the idealism on both sides. I'm ready for the debates to start so we can stop throwing around all this empty rhetoric and talk about how the candidates are going to actually do what they say they want to do. And I seriously doubt that, even if they come up with fantastic plans, either one of them will really be able to accomplish much as President.

But, despite my cynicism toward both parties, I have to say I believe in the American dream as John Smith verbalized it almost 400 years ago. I'm proud to be from a place that from its very inception offered new opportunities to people who needed them. And our history is full of their success stories.

Toad Meets His Namesake

House Closing

We closed on our new house yesterday. It was exciting and not as bad as we were led to believe it would be as far as the paperwork goes. We went later in the afternoon to pick up the keys, and when I opened the envelope, this fell out:



That, my friends, is a leopard print key. And now I kind of want to decorate the house like a jungle. You know, to keep with the whole theme.

We took Toad with us to see the place. He really likes the yard and had a lot of fun running around the empty rooms. I think he'll like it there.

The one bad thing was that when I went to unlock the front door with my leopard key, there was a sign hanging on the knob from the pool company that said "Pool motor went bad. Needs repair. Call me." Since we had owned the house for exactly 12 minutes at the point, I called the realtor and asked what we should do. Luckily, we have a home warranty that covers the pool, so if it is our responsibility to fix it, we don't have to pay for it. But it's kind of a bummer to arrive at your brand new house (at least, it's new to us) and discover a huge repair immediately needs to be done.

So, we are officially homeowners. We'll throw a party once we're settled in and remodeled. And we get the pool fixed!

Migraine Study

This post is sort of going to be about my period, so any readers who don't want to know, you might just want to skip this one.

So, I was watching the local Waco news the other day. Why was I doing that? Because my Waco TV has only 3 channels and no DVR. Yeehaw! Anyway, they had a little spot on a clinical trial the Waco hospital is doing for menstrual migraines. I have suffered from migraines since I was in junior high. A doctor once diagnosed them as menstrual migraines and put me on a few different medications for them, but nothing I have ever tried has been successful. Since I have become an adult, I have developed pretty good coping mechanisms for it. I pop four Advil at a time as soon as I feel the tightening begin in my head, and that usually makes the pain manageable. I call it the "ghost headache." Where I can actually feel the headache lurking behind my eyes, and if the wall of ibuprofen were not there, it would feel like an icepick through my skull. But as long as I catch it early, I can function like a pretty normal person. If I don't catch it early, I have a day like I had yesterday.

I woke up with a headache. I, of course, forgot to bring any painkillers with me to Waco. My roommate - who is apparently oblivious to pain - does not have any in the apartment. So, I taught my first class with a migraine. Luckily for me, the adrenaline got me through because I was so nervous.

After class, I walked back to my apartment. It was hot, I was in pain, and I honestly didn't think I was going to make it before I collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk. Fortunately, I did make it. At this point, my head hurt so badly that I could no longer drive a car to go pick myself up some pain medication. I just stumbled up to my room and slept on the air mattress, waking up sporadically because of the pain in my head.

After about 2 hours, I returned to my campus office, and there was a girl there who had mentioned having Tylenol in her desk. I asked her if I could have some, and she had not only Tylenol, but my precious ibuprofen as well. I popped four of them, ate a graham cracker (the first thing I had eaten all day), and went to teach my next class. Again, I pulled through on adrenaline.

I decided to drive home to Dallas after class because the Advil wall was kind of halfway up, and I figured I could make it. Maybe that was foolish, but I really just wanted to be home with my dog and my own pillow. Anyway, about halfway through the drive my headache faded completely away, heralding the arrival of my monthly sign that there are "no babies in here."

So, I wrote the hospital in Waco. I am going to participate in a clinical trial for menstrual migraines. We'll see how it goes. I've never done anything like this before, but it also means I have to get back on the pill which makes me want to lose like 15 pounds before I start. I have two months before they put me on any drugs, so here's to losing 15 pounds before the pill forces me to gain them back!

I'm a Huge Dork

I totally went to the wrong class today. Well, not really the wrong class. But I thought my Wednesday class was today, so when the professor walked into the room (luckily they are both in the same classroom!) I totally thought she was the TA b/c I know my other class is taught by a male professor. So, I'm sitting there thinking she's the TA, and then all of a sudden she started handing out syllabi and talking like she was the teacher. Which she was. Oops. I totally brought all the wrong books which didn't turn out to be a big deal, but I still felt like a huge idiot!

Audiobooks

I made a fantastic discovery today. www.audible.com!

When I was working on my Master's degree, reading for fun really kind of stopped for me. I was really bummed out about it, too, because I love books. I really like to talk about books, I learn a lot from them, and they are good source of conversation. Since I was reading books that no one else I knew was actually reading (or even wanted to read), I felt like I had very little to talk about.

However, now I have 6 hours in the car every week that must be filled with something, and I have decided that it will be filled with audiobooks. I used to think that audiobooks were cheating, but I have really enjoyed and retained the ones I have listened to, so I am now officially not judging them as cheating anymore. I signed up on audible.com, went through my goodreads.com "to-read" shelf, and added as many books as I could to my audible.com wishlist.

This month's audiobook is David Sedaris' When You Are Engulfed in Flames read by David Sedaris. Yaaaaaaaay! Review to come...

More Laidback

I've realized something this week while I've been at my graduate orientation and teaching workshop. Being older has made me a nicer person. Ten years ago, if you had thrown me into a room full of complete strangers and expected me to walk out with a good impression of everyone, I couldn't have done it. However, I can honestly say that I like all of the grad students that I have spoken to so far. I mean, I'm not going to be best friends with all of them. There are some of them that I obviously don't have a lot in common with and once we've exhausted the conversation about our research interests, there's not much left. However, even with the ones that I probably would have brushed off as impossible friends 10 years ago, I find that I have no reason not to be as friendly as possible. I've actually found myself making an uncharacteristic effort to remember the "unique thing" about themselves that we are forced to name every time we are in a group and bring it up later as a conversation piece. I am trying very hard, and the weird thing is - it's not that hard.

I think my previous experience in grad school has given me a lot of confidence. When I started my Master's degree, I experienced all kinds of feelings of inadequacy and thoughts like "Why was I even admitted to grad school? There must have been a administrative mistake!" But this time around, I don't feel that yet. Maybe those feelings will come back once classes actually start and everyone demonstrates their brilliance. But at this moment, I really feel like I belong here and that given time, I will fit in.

It helps that people are responding well, of course. When I make little jokes, they laugh. When I bring up their unique moment, they engage me in conversation. They are being nice back to me. That helps a LOT. It's a huge part of why I'm having a good experience so far.

Anyway, there's an update for you. I like it here. I really want to succeed. But at the same time, I'm ready to go home for the weekend and be surrounded by the people I love and the surroundings that are so familiar to me. It's going to be interesting to have two lives. I am excited to see how it turns out.

Back in Waco

I drove to Waco today to attend my teaching workshop and new student orientation this week. Here are my initial thoughts so far:

1) Katie - my new roommate. She has got to be one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen in real life. I mean it. Absolutely gorgeous. She's very nice so far and friendly. She is super-girly and the apartment is very decorated and frilly. Not in an obnoxious way, but definitely not Spartan like my room is right now.

2) Baylor - Wow! They have really classed this place up! The buildings are gorgeous, and I'm looking forward to walking around campus tomorrow and seeing all the new and old places.

3) Wal-Mart - my checkout girl told me I looked like Zooey Deschanel. I love her forever. It makes me want to go back there again and again.

4) Big Daddy's (the local hamburger joint) is now a tanning salon! Whaaaaaat? I hope they just moved locations instead of going out of business.

So, all in all, it's been a good experience so far. I am excited and nervous about tomorrow. I hope the other grad students are nice. They have a lot to live up to considering the group of Medieval Studies grad students at SMU were awesome!

Waking Up

Have you ever woken up feeling like you've been punched in the face? That's how I feel today. Blech.

Time for My Mom to Come Over

I was telling my friend Lara some time ago about how every time my mom comes over we seem to have an embarrassing amount of empty wine/beer/liquor bottles sitting on our kitchen floor that I have to clean up lest she see them. Let me explain - we recycle these items, so they don't just go in the trash, and we are often too lazy to take them out onto the balcony to our recycle bin. Therefore, there will often be a month or two's worth of empty bottles on the floor. But, of course, my mom wouldn't know that. She would immediately assume that we had drunk all of that alcohol last night all by ourselves.

Anyway, a month or two ago Lara came over to our apartment, took a survey of the empty bottles and said, "It looks like it's about time for your mom to come over." It was about the funniest thing she's ever said to me because right as she said it, I realized that my mom was, in fact, coming over the very next day!

So, on Monday or Tuesday Jonathan took the recycling out, including all the empty bottles (which, incidentally were mostly plastic juice bottles this time around, but still...). As he was doing it, I realized that my mom was coming over on Thursday. I burst out laughing. You really can gauge my mother's visits on the amount of empty bottles on our floor. So thanks, Lara, for making me laugh at my own mess and cheering me up as I have to clean it (or Jonathan does in this case). Chores are always easier when you're laughing.

Anal Retentive

So, I am contemplating revamping my fashion ensemble pictures into Work and School categories so that I can remember who has seen me in which outfits. I already do that to some degree with them now, but I really only mark special occasions. The project I'm talking about here will be way more detailed and kind of makes me feel like I'm crazy. But as cluttered as my apartment may be, I get an immense sense of satisfaction from organizing things.

I bought a huge handbag yesterday. Big enough to hold a spare set of clothes plus all toiletries. It's kind of like carrying a small suitcase on my shoulder. I hate enormous purses or "totes" as other people like to call them. What a stupid word. Let's just call it what it is - an obscenely large purse. Anyway, I have joined the ranks of the women carrying their lives on their shoulders. It's kind of disappointing. But practical, so I'm giving it a try. If I feel ridiculous every single time I wear it, one of my girlfriends just might receive a slightly-used-but-still-lovely gigantic burgundy purse for Christmas.

New Clothes

So, I went on my bi-annual shopping trip yesterday and today. The goal: to buy new school clothes. After bumming around SMU in my casual outfits, I will now actually have a job that requires appropriate attire. And since it is a Baptist university, I am assuming they don't want me to wear things like sleeveless shirts and open-toed shoes. Unfortunately, everything in every store is either still very summer-y or it's incredibly ugly. I only ended up buying two pairs of pants, a fantastic dress, flats, and a new handbag. I must have tried on 15 different knee-length black skirts, none of which flattered my body. This disaster means I have to go shopping again in, like, October when there are actually conservative fall clothes in the stores. I will just have to muddle through until then. Bummer!

Laura Does Not Share Food

I have come to a small epiphany recently on my weirdness about sharing food. It used to be that I thought I just didn't like to share food, period. But I realized that it's not so much the sharing that bothers me as the timing:

1) If the waiter has just put my plate down in front of me, and you ask for a bite, I am going to say "No." Or if you are my husband I will roll my eyes, sigh, and say, "Oooooookay."

2) If I have a knife and fork in my hand and I am actively eating the food on my plate, and you ask for some, I am going to say "No." Or if you are my husband I will get tight lips, give you a look, then cut you a very small piece.

3) If I have put down my utensils and stopped eating and you ask me for a bite of what I have left on my plate, I will say, "Sure, eat the rest of it if you want."

See the difference? If I am eating or intending to eat the food on my plate, I am not going to share it with you. I might want to eat it all. It might just be that good. Or I might just be that hungry. Eat your own food. If you still want mine when we're both done, you can have it.

Summer of Boredom

I'm tired of being bored. I had grand plans for this summer, and I've kind of half-assed most of them. Which I'm actually fine with, but I'm ready for school to start. I'm ready to be busy again and have stuff to do. I'm ready to meet new people and be responsible for things again. It's been a really nice break, though. I felt burned out when I was graduating, and I'm definitely not feeling that anymore. So, I guess mission accomplished! I ordered the rest of my books for the semester, and I can't wait to get them in the mail. Only 10 more days of nothing to do!

Trip to Morocco???

My friend Ali got a Fulbright scholarship to study some medieval converted bell lamps in Fez, Morocco. There's an article about him in today's paper:

http://www.pegasusnews.com/news/2008/jul/23/smu-masters-student-receives-fulbright-scholarship/

Anyway, there's a possibility that we might be able to go visit him next year while he's there, and that would be AWESOME!! Not only because we would get to see Ali again since he's moving to Boston tomorrow, but I'd get to see his lamps in person (I edited his thesis, so I know all about them, and they're really cool!), and - total bonus - both Ali and his wife speak fluent Arabic, so we'd totally have people who could take us around and communicate. Plus, it's a chance to practice the Arabic I learned two years ago. And, it's a free place to stay in Morocco. How can I turn it down?

So, I just wanted to know how much it would cost to fly there. I got on the internet and I cannot find a single flight from Dallas to any city in Morocco. Crazy, right? So, finally, I just called American Airlines to see if they could give me a ballpark figure. I spoke with Jim who works in the "Fares" department. Here's a small sample of our conversation - I'll let you judge for yourself how it turned out:

Me: "Hi, Jim, I'm looking to fly from Dallas to Morocco next year. I don't have any specific dates in mind - just sometime next summer - and I just wanted to have a general price range for a round-trip ticket."
Jim: "Where's Morocco?"
Me: "It's in North Africa."
Jim: "I don't know where we fly in Africa."
Me: "Well, I just looked on your website, and it says that you fly to Casablanca. How much does that cost from Dallas?"
Jim: "What country are you flying to?"
Me: "Morocco."
Jim: "Is that the city?"
Me: "No, Casablanca is the city. Morocco is the country."
Jim: "OK, so Dallas to Castablanca."
Me: "No, it's CASablanca - there's no T. Like the movie."
Jim: "Oh, OK. I never saw that."

New House

Well, we've agreed on a sale price. Now we just have to get it inspected and get our mortgage in order. If everything goes as planned, we'll close on Aug. 29!

http://www.ebby.com/details/-2651124.html

Babies R Us and Phone Sex

So, I tried to call Babies R Us to get the return label for the high chair that got delivered yesterday. Instead of dialing 888-BABY-R-US, I dialed 800-BABY-R-US, and here's what I got on the other line:

"Mmm! Hot, sweet, juicy phone pussy is dripping wet and waiting for you..."

I'm adding this to the pile of evidence that Babies R Us is run by Lucifer himself.

Babies R Us Update

So, I called Babies R Us again after the first conversation with the teenage help, and I spoke to someone else who actually sounded like they wrote my name and item down. That person also assured me that they would have the item ready for me when I came in. So, I showed up at Babies R Us, and guess whose gift was not on hold? I actually just rolled my eyes at the customer service person, sighed, and said, "Where are the high chairs?" Lucky for me (or maybe even luckier for them), they had one left. I was pretty mad, though, because 1) they did not put my item on hold like they said they would - TWICE. 2) they did not have "plenty of'em" as the teenager told me they did. I never want to go back there again.

All in all, though, the baby shower went great. Everyone brought what they were supposed to bring, and there was plenty of food for everyone. I'm told the cake was delicious, and there were a ton of people to show Tim and Cassie how much we all love them. Yay for Baby Schermbeck!

Baby Shower Blues

I want everyone who reads this to know that I am NOT going to bitch about throwing this baby shower. I volunteered for it. I love Cassie, and I want to do this thing for her because I am so excited for her and Tim. And however much work that entails is what I signed up for when I offered to do this, so I have no right to complain. However, the world at large is not making this process as easy as it could be, and they - specifically the warehouse staff and teenage summer help at Babies R Us - are the ones I am bitching about. So here goes my rant:

I ordered Cassie's shower gift exactly 9 days ago - July 8th. I received an e-mail stating that it takes 2-3 days to process an order, then standard ground shipping is 5-7 days. Well, I thought, that's cutting it close, but I should have it on time even at the later end of that schedule.

Imagine my surprise when I get an e-mail at 2pm this afternoon telling me "We're pleased to tell you that your item(s) has been shipped!" I immediately think, "Whaaaaat? That's got to be wrong." I click on the link to track the package. There is no information available except that my billing info has been sent to UPS. More information will be available shortly.

To make a long story short, I tried to cancel the order, but couldn't because it has already shipped. I have to wait until it arrives, call Babies R Us back, and get them to mail me a return label. Then I have to find a UPS store and drop the package off. OK, well, that's fine, but it still sounds like I'm doing more work than they are to solve this problem what with all the driving around. But, in their defense, the lady at the help line was really nice, and although she did not offer to refund me shipping costs (she only offered a refund on the cost of the item), she gave me a shipping refund when I asked for it. In the meantime, however, I have to actually walk inside a Babies R Us (shudder!) and buy the item at the store.

So, then I start worrying about what happens if I show up to Babies R Us (which is not close to my house) and then they don't have the item in stock and I have to drive to Ft. Worth or somewhere to get it. So, I called my nearest store. Some high school kid answers the phone. I describe the item, then offer to give him the item number if that would help him know if he has the exact one. He replies,

"Oh, I've got'em. I've got plenty of'em. No, I don't need that."

"Ummm, would you like to verify that for me, please?"

"No, I mean, we've got a ton of'em here in the store."

"Well, then, can you put one on hold for me, please? I'll pick it up tomorrow morning."

"Sure, what's your name?"

"Laura Clark."

"OK, ma'am, is that all? OK. Have a nice day." Click.

I was stunned. And I have serious doubts about whether Babies R Us will have my item in the store tomorrow, and even graver ones about whether or not I will have said item on hold. If they do, I will forgive them this whole mess. If they don't, there will be a hissy fit.

Square One

Ha - remember that TV show? Maybe I'm the only one who ever watched it.

Anyway, Blue Carpets was sold to someone else, and we don't have a second choice, so here we are back at the beginning (waiting for Vizzini). Boo! I am relieved, though, that we don't have to do all the renovations we were talking about. Maybe we can buy something that's already updated and not have to replace so much stuff.

I'm not as sad as I thought I would be at not getting the house, but I am disappointed that this process isn't over. Sigh.

Merry Christmas 2007

So, I finally got J his Christmas present today. I got us tickets to the Cleveland Browns v. Indianapolis Colts game Thanksgiving weekend at the Browns stadium in Cleveland. So, I spent the afternoon planning the trip. I didn't realize there was so much to do in Cleveland! Now I am very sad we are only there for 2 nights, and all of one day will be taken up by the game. There is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame plus the Cleveland Museum of Art has a kick-ass medieval collection. I am really looking forward to the trip! Not that we're going to get to do all that stuff, but I just really enjoy going places where there's stuff to do. I don't really know anything about Cleveland, but I already like it. Plus, I also really, really like planning trips. And going on trips. And going places I've never been. And I can take another state off my list! Ohio - check! But you know what the best part really is? That I get to share something with my husband that he's loved practically his whole life. I'm actually really excited about the football game. I can't wait to share this experience with him. I think it'll be good times!

Top 10 Reasons I Am Excited To Buy a House

10. People can sleep in our guest bedroom when they come to visit us

9. Letting the dog go in the yard - we'll probably still walk him, but it'll be nice to just open the back door and let him pee out there every once in a while instead of carrying him up and down the stairs

8. An icemaker!

7. A bathroom fan!

6. Counter space!

5. Exercise space!

4. Closet space!

3. A garage!

2. More than one bathroom - oh, it's practically heaven

1. No neighbors who call the cops on us when we're playing Rock Band in the middle of the day and bang on the ceiling like they're in a 60's sitcom

Dream Last Night

I had a dream last night that J and I were on vacation. We were with our friend Ben York, and we also had Toad with us. So, we hailed a cab big enough for us and our luggage, and I got in first with the dog. The driver was that guy from Lost:

When Jonathan walked around to go get our bags, the guy just drove off with me. I was kidnapped! It turns out there was another person in the front seat as well, so now I was really scared. I found a giant (and full!) bottle of Galliano under my seat, and I threatened the driver with it. That didn't really work. I started sending text messages to J on my giant 80's-style cell phone about which directions we were taking, hoping he would start to follow in another cab or call the police or something. Anyway, I ended up in some room. Sans dog, sans Galliano, but with my giant cell phone. There was a tiny area of carpet that looked like it was burning incense or something, and I think I was being drugged. Anyway, I managed to pull myself out of a stupor and use the phone. Ben answered, and was like, "Oh, you're OK. We were really worried. Let me see if I can go find Jon." I asked where they were, and Ben said, "Oh, we just went back to the hotel. We didn't know what to do." So, then I was very, very angry. THE END.

Analysis:

Kidnap: To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals.

Being taken hostage or abducted can represent:
Fear of physical, mental, or emotional attack, or of being a victim of ill will
Feeling or fearing someone or something trying to force their will or motives onto you, or feeling victimized, manipulated, or like someone is trying to limit or take away your personal power
An authority in your real life that feels overbearing or oppressive

Bottle
A container or dispenser for liquid (bottle, jug, pitcher, etc.) can represent:
Drinking, quenching, or satisfying
Containment or control
Abundance
The idea of generosity or something "pouring forth"
The idea of flowing, free-flow, or controlled flow
Also consider the meaning of whatever is inside the container, and the role of the container with respect to that.

Incense

A desire to change one's situation or environment, or perhaps to make it more pleasant or palatable
A desire of the person burning incense to control or manipulate a situation, interaction, or environment

Social Interaction

So, J finally gave in and joined facebook. And he immediately has more friends than I do. I should expect this by now. He is very friendly and doesn't discriminate against people the way I do ("she smelled like soup!"). He also actually wants to talk to people he once knew but hasn't talked to in years. And he believes they actually want to talk to him. But it STILL kind of gets under my skin. I actually feel genuine jealousy. Which is pretty strange since most of the time I'm sitting around in awe at how good I've got it.

Anyway, so I was thinking about how many times since we've known each other that J and I have met someone and that person has remembered J but not me. This happens almost every time we meet someone new for the second time. "Oh, yeah, Jonathan - you're so (insert positive adjective here)! What's your wife's name again?" Or, once, it was even "Oh, yeah, Jonathan, I remember you...but I don't remember her at all." Accompanied by a finger pointed directly at me. You'd think I'd be used to it now, but it hurts my feelings every time. STILL.

This sort of thing also always happened to me in high school when my best friend was the sort of bubbly type girl who everyone wants to have around. I remember distinctly having our first fight and admitting to her how jealous I was of her popularity. Or her personality, really. I was completely flabbergasted when she told me she was jealous of me right back. She was the kind of person who people told right to her face "You're so pretty," "You're so funny," or "You're so great! I love you!" No one ever said that kind of thing to me. Sometimes the creepy guy at the gas station would give me a Big Gulp for free or something, which I guess I was supposed to interpret as "You're so pretty!" But, really, I would rather have had the compliment. I told my friend this, and I remember her saying, "I'd rather have the free Big Gulp."

So, I guess I'm writing this post realizing that my personality is NEVER going to change. I have always been the one people don't remember, and I am consistently drawn toward the people who are remembered, which is only going to exacerbate my little complex. I am also not the friendliest person in the world, and that is not going to change either. I don't like talking to people I don't know. Hmmm. Maybe I should develop some kind of snob factor that makes me feel superior to everyone else. That way, when people don't remember me, I have some kind of snooty default reaction. I'll have to work on that.

Feeling More Positive

Well, since that last post, I have spoken with my mother-in-law who used to work for Ethan Allen and is very good at (and also really enjoys) interior decorating, plus I spoke with a floor specialist who confirmed that our estimates for replacing the floor were correct. All in all, I am feeling much better about this whole process. Plus, I am a HUGE dork, and I made a little floor plan of our #1 choice (fondly nicknamed Blue Carpets). Now I think I am going to be very sad if we decide to make an offer and then we don't end up getting the house.

I spent the better part of the afternoon on the Valspar website matching paint colors. Here are the samples I've picked out:

Fun!

House Hunting

Looking for a house is exhausting. No one warned me. Actually, they did warn me that it was exhausting, but no one ever really explained why. Now I know. Here's why:

1) too many unknown factors. Basically you're buying a house you've seen once or twice. The inspector might find a problem or two, but even he can't rip out the walls and check the wiring or guarantee the air conditioner won't break in two months. We're also new at this, so I don't know the right questions to ask, etc.

2)estimating how much all the stuff you want to change is going to cost. The a-holes on the internet don't put the prices per square foot on their sites, forcing you to have to GO TO THE STORE. This makes me very, very angry. All I want is some very basic information, and now I have to drive all over town just to get the most general number possible. I don't even know if I want tile floors - I just want to know if they are a good financial decision, and now I am being forced to enter a place where I have to talk to a salesperson who is going to make me uncomfortable and try to sell me something I'm not ready to buy. And then I'm going to have to shoo the person away and feel guilty for potentially hurting their feelings. Ugh! I have seriously turned into a stranger-hater.

3)the conversations with Jonathan have not been going well. We have different ways of looking at these houses, and they are not very compatible, so I have been getting very frustrated. We're doing a good job of finally getting our points across, but the process is difficult and exhausting. We had a little breakthrough yesterday which actually was great, but it came after over an hour of conflict. We're not fighting, though. I mean, there's no yelling or anything like that. I just feel like we are talking in circles, and after an entire two hours of conversation, we are no closer to understanding one another than we were when we started. I can see that these conversations are actually positive things, but effective communication is always hard work.

So, there you are. I think those are the big things that are making me just want to sit around and pretend I don't see the chores I have to do. I want this to be over SOON.

Copycat Book List

I saw this on Lara's blog which she had copied from someone else's. So, I'm doing it, too. No judging.

Bold - I have read it
Italics - I want or intend to read it (there IS a difference)
Underline - I LOVE IT!

1. Pride and Prejudice - Not my favorite Jane Austen, but an excellent one. a Must Read

2. The Lord of the Rings - I've only read this twice because it's so long (usually if I love a book I will read it at least 5 times), but these are great.

3. Jane Eyre - I like this book, but I always skip the part where she runs away and lives with St. John & Co. It's like that part in Scarlett where she goes to Ireland. Ridiculous.

4. Harry Potter series - These are fabulous, but I'm not going to read them over and over.

5. To Kill a Mockingbird - I need to read this again. I read it when I was like 12, and I've never re-read it. I bet I would get a lot more out of it now.

6. The Bible - I won't lie and say I've read the whole thing, although I probably have read the whole thing in chunks. I also won't lie and say I love it. I think it's an interesting and wise book, but it's hard to understand and even harder at times to believe.

7. Wuthering Heights - I am a total sucker for angst, and this is the Queen of angst-y novels.

8. Nineteen Eighty Four - I didn't particularly like this one, but I understand why they make you read it in 9th grade. It's important if only for understanding all the references subsequent art has made to it.

9. His Dark Materials - I was loaned these books as an alternative to the devil-worshipping Harry Potter books. Ha! They were OK, but the stories were too disjointed, and I ended up not caring about the characters at all.

10. Great Expectations - This one is also OK. Probably also a good one to make 9th graders read. But it's just not A Tale of Two Cities which is probably my favorite book of all time.

11. Little Women - I didn't like this book. None of the girls ended up with who I thought they should have ended up with. And I never could get over Jo's professor having a huge nasty beard.

12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - I hated this the first time I read it, then after I read it again, I liked it better. I also think it's a good book for teenagers to read. Although, Far From the Madding Crowd is my favorite Hardy book.

13. Catch 22 - I read this in high school on my own. It was weird, but I liked it. I probably didn't get most of it at the time.

14. Complete Works of Shakespeare - I think I've read everything but the really boring histories and maybe one or two of the tragedies like "Titus Andronicus." And maybe I've missed a sonnet or two. I like Shakespeare, but I think studying medieval lit has ruined him for me a little bit since I've now read most of the works that he plagiarized from. Ha! It's one of my lifetime goals to see every one of his plays performed live.

15. Rebecca - I started this book like 4 times before I actually made it the whole way through. I liked it once I got into it, but it took a while.

16. The Hobbit - I liked this one. But I'm realizing that as I age I enjoy longer stories where the characters really develop and change which is probably why I like the Lord of the Rings trilogy better.

17. Birdsong - Jonathan gave me this book for my birthday last year. I started it, but I haven't finished it yet.

18. Catcher in the Rye - I keep saying I'm going to read this, and I actually at one time owned a copy that I gave away to Shannon. Maybe I will ask for it back. I mean, I'm getting a PhD in English, and I haven't read The Catcher in the Rye, for goodness' sake!

19. The Time Traveller's Wife - a great book. I really liked it. I want to read more books by this lady.

20. Middlemarch - I read parts of this when I was in college for a class (I was supposed to read the whole thing, but hey, I had other classes, and I didn't really like it). I finally read the whole thing a few years ago, and it was OK. It was one of those where it's telling like 6 different stories, and I really was only interested in two of them, so I wanted to just skip to the parts involving the characters I liked.

21. Gone With The Wind - I. Love. This. Book.

22. The Great Gatsby - I should read this one again, too. I barely remember it. I bet I would like it more now that I'm older.

23. Bleak House - What? I will never read this. Why is this on the list? Where is A Tale of Two Cities?

24. War and Peace - I don't think I will ever read this either, although it is apparently very good. I think it will be like Middlemarch, where I find a character I like and want to just skip around to read their storyline and not the whole book.

25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - I loved this book. I read the sequels, too, but the humor got a little old after a while. This one's a classic, though. Fantastic.

26. Brideshead Revisited - I should probably read this, too. I bet it's good. I hear it's kind of racy.

27. Crime and Punishment - I don't think I'm interested in Russian literature.

28. Grapes of Wrath - I read this and decided I really didn't like John Steinbeck. But then I read East of Eden and found out he did his own version of Malory, so it kind of redeemed him. Someone told me he did a sort of allegory of the Knights of the Round Table, so I think I'll read that one. Cannery Row? Tortilla Flats? I'll have to do some research

29. Alice in Wonderland - I did my undergraduate thesis on this book. It's fantastic. I love it. If I ever have a little girl, I want to do an Alice nursery. Even though that might be kind of scary. Ha!

30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31. Anna Karenina - Boo! More Russian authors. Blech.

32. David Copperfield - AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Where is A Tale of Two Cities????

33. Chronicles of Narnia - So good. I think my favorite is Prince Caspian, but I strangely also really like A Horse and His Boy. My least favorite is probably the Silver Chair.

34. Emma - I have never made it through the whole book. I have seen both versions of the movie, though, plus Clueless. Ha! I really like the story.

35. Persuasion - Heartbreaking and wonderful. Full of angst. I loved it! My favorite Austen story, I think, although maybe not the most well-written.

36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis Don't know why this is on list when it's already a part of the Chronicles of Narnia. Ditto Lara's comment.

37. The Kite Runner - I have no interest in this. I'm a terrible English student.

38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Saw the movie. Does that count? Hated it, too.

39. Memoirs of a Geisha - This book was sooooooo good until the last chapter when it fell completely to pieces. Weirdly, the movie managed to pull it off - something I have never seen before. The movie is actually much more emotionally satisfying than the book.

40. Winnie the Pooh - Pooh pulls my little heartstrings.

41. Animal Farm - Blech. Too political.

42. The Da Vinci Code - I liked it. It wasn't fantastic, but it was very, very entertaining.

43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - I'd rather read Love in the Time of Cholera, I think.

44. A Prayer for Owen Meany - Seriously my favorite book of all time, and a shining jewel in the pile of crap written by John Irving. I cry every single time.

45. The Woman in White - I have never heard of this!

46. Anne of Green Gables - I didn't read this until I was in high school or college. My whole childhood everyone was like, "Oh, Anne of Green Gables is so great!" and it turned me off completely from it. I finally read them, and they were OK. Nothing to write home about. Probably good for little girls.

47. Far From The Madding Crowd - I loved this book. I fell totally in love with Gabriel Oak. And it actually has a happy ending! Go figure.

48. The Handmaid's Tale - Hated it, hated it, hated it. Although I think about how she describes her leg hair growing back in practically every time I shave my legs. It definitely had an impact on me whether I appreciated it or not, so it's probably a good book.

49. Lord of the Flies - I didn't really like it, but I think they should make high schoolers read this. It's an important book exploring important themes.

50. Atonement - Maybe I want to read this. I don't know. I loved the movie.

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52. Dune - I like the movie better because the book just goes too deep into the politics and cultural minutiae. I still like it, though. I wish I had an imagination like Frank Herbert.

53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons I seriously did not know this was a book. I must read it, because the movie is HILARIOUS!!!! I might just go buy it for myself today.

54. Sense and Sensibility - Another good Jane Austen story. Marianne totally gets on my nerves, though.

55. A Suitable Boy - I have never heard of this one either.

56. The Shadow of the Wind - Or this one!

57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Finally! My favorite book (it is tied with Owen Meany and Gone With the Wind - I can't choose between them). I cry every single time. It's fantastic.

58. Brave New World - I really like this book. I think about it a lot, and I want to re-read it every time I read an article or see a news story on cloning or stem cell research. That Aldous Huxley was really forward thinking! We are still wrestling with the issues he brings up in his book. Amazing.

59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - I sort of want to read this. We'll see if I get around to it.

61. Of Mice and Men - All I can think about is that lady's "sausage curls." Ugh. I hate Steinbeck.

62. Lolita - I hear this is good. I don't want to read it.

63. The Secret History - Never heard of it.

64. The Lovely Bones - I don't want to read a book narrated by a dead little girl who was murdered. Call me crazy, but that sounds really depressing.

65. Count of Monte Cristo - I have tried to read this multiple times. It's just so boring. I like the idea of this book, but the execution leaves something to be desired.

66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Hilarious. And the sequel was actually really good, too.

69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

70. Moby Dick - I've only read parts of this, and that was quite sufficient, thank you.

71. Oliver Twist - Seriously, people, not everything Dickens wrote was a masterpiece. I think he's got too big a showing on this list. Let's show a little more discrimination, shall we?

72. Dracula - I should read it again now that I've read The Historian. I liked it. I remember it being scary!

73. The Secret Garden - Pretty good. I'll read it to my kids.

74. Notes From A Small Island - Never heard of it.

75. Ulysses - I've tried to read this one several times, too. Blech.

76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78. Germinal - Emile Zola

79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80. Possession - Not as great as everyone makes it sound, but OK

81. A Christmas Carol - I like it. It's good.

82. Cloud Atlas - Never heard of it

83. The Color Purple - Good, but very sad.

84. The Remains of the Day - I'd like to say that I will read this some day, but I probably never will.

85. Madame Bovary - Ditto this one

86. A Fine Balance - Never heard of it.

87. Charlotte's Web - a classic. I think it's important because it deals with death. Like The Bridge to Terabithia. Kids should read this.

88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - So not interested.

89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - I hate Sherlock Holmes. He's such a know-it-all.

90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Never heard of it.

91. Heart of Darkness - I have tried to read this so many times. Can't do it. B.O.R.I.N.G.

92. The Little Prince - Cute, but really overrated.

93. The Wasp Factory - Never heard of it.

94. Watership Down - I never read this because people told me the rabbits die and it was sad. It scared me away from it forever.

95. A Confederacy of Dunces - I hate this book. Worse than Steinbeck. Seriously.

96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97. The Three Musketeers - I tried to read this one, too. So boring. I wish Alexandre Dumas wasn't so long-winded. I should try the abridged version. Ha!

98. Hamlet - I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate it. There. I said it. You can kick me out of my PhD program now.

Books missing from this list: anything by Victor Hugo, The Tales of King Arthur by Thomas Malory, The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer, anything by Edgar Allan Poe, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Beloved by Toni Morrison, The Iliad and The Odyssey by Homer, Heidi by Johanna Spyri, The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner, anything by Kafka, No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartres, anything by Cormac McCarthy, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, The Metamorphoses by Ovid, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, and Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift. And that's just off the top of my head!

Broken Air Conditioner

We came home from a lovely weekend visiting J's siblings and meeting our brand new nephew (who is very cute, by the way) to discover that our air conditioner is broken!!!!!!!!!! I have now called the emergency maintenance folks three times. They say they are working on it. Hmph. I would do what we used to do in France which is take off to the movies and watch a triple feature (the movie theater was one of the few air conditioned buildings in France), but I have a migraine today so I think the noise would bother me, plus my mom and my uncle are coming over for lunch at an undetermined time. Argh. I WANT TO MOVE!

Vancouver

They started disembarking the boat at 7:30, so we were up bright and early. We did not actually disembark until after 10. One fantastic thing about Canada (and the Bahamas, in fact) is that U.S. customs is actually located on the Canadian side. This is just one of the reasons I love Canada.

So, once we'd gotten our bags and were leaving the cruise terminal, we saw that the taxi line was like 2 hours long, so we walked over to the tourism desk and signed up for a city tour. These people know what they're doing - they loaded our bags into a van along with another couple, drove us around the city for about three hours, then dropped us off at our hotel. It was great! Unfortunately, our guide Raphael was not that great. He was from Argentina, and he said he had been living in Vancouver for 18 years, but his accent was so strong he was very difficult to understand, and he didn't seem to know all that much about the city.

In any case, he drove us through Chinatown where we saw the Guiness Book of World Records holder for "Narrowest Office Building" at a little more than three feet deep. He took us to Gastown which is the old downtown Vancouver where there is a large clock that runs on steam. It wasn't working the day we were there - Raphael said they have to send someone to fix it all the time because the steam works are not very efficient.

Next, he took us to Stanley Park which was really nice and named after Lord Stanley, the guy the Stanley Cup is named after.

Next we went to Granville Island which is kind of a boardwalk on the pier with a huge market and tons of artisan's workshops. He drove us through the main shopping district and also the really fancy part of town with all the 5 million dollar homes, then dropped us off at our hotel.

All in all I have a great impression of Vancouver. It was pretty and clean and seemed like there was tons of stuff to do. I'd love to go back! We tried to get a tour of the Battlestar Galactica set - Jon called the Vancouver Film Studio, and asked if they filmed the show there, and the girl on the other line said something like, "I'm not at liberty to disclose that information." So Jon said, "Well, I'm not trying to expose any big secrets; I'd just like a tour of the set." The girl said the studio did not offer public tours. So, I'm guess that is where the show is filmed since she acted like that. Too bad!

That night, as is our tradition when we visit Canada, we went to the movies. We saw "Sex and the City." I liked it more than I thought I would. It was funny! Although I thought they either needed to integrate Jennifer Hudson's character more into the movie or they needed to cut her out. I couldn't figure out why she was even in it, and she never interacted with anyone but Carrie which made her plotline kind of stick out instead of being part of the main plotline. Maybe it was written differently, and they had to edit a bunch out. I don't know. But that was my biggest problem with the movie. 3 out of 5 stars - no need to see on the big screen, but worth watching if you're a fan of the show.

The Inside Passage

The last day on the cruise, we sailed the Inside Passage all the way down the Canadian Coast to Vancouver. It was rainy pretty much all day, but that didn't keep the wildlife from surfacing! We saw a humpback whale and her calf, and we actually saw killer whales jumping out of the water! They were too quick for me to get a photo - you'll just have to take my word for it that we saw them. It was pretty neat.

To pass the time, Jon and I watched "Lars and the Real Girl" in our room. I had heard that it was funny from several people, and it was advertised as a sort of off-the-wall romantic comedy. Except it was neither funny nor romantic. It was about a guy with mental illness. The only way the movie could be funny is if you were laughing AT him, which I was not inclined to do. I just felt sad for him. The best part of the movie is a speech Lars' sister-in-law makes about how they all accept his delusions and go along with them because they love him. I think that's really what the movie was about - how this community accepted Lars even though he was not like them, and they did everything they could to make him feel loved despite his mental illness. AND, another point in its favor is that it is one of the very few movies in recent history that portrays the clergyman as a pretty good guy. No pedophilia or excessive greed. He was just an all around nice person. So, I give "Lars and the Real Girl" 2 out of 5 stars mostly because of its faulty advertising.

Ketchikan, Alaska

Once again, we had no organized excursions at this port. We did step off the ship, but little did we know we were wandering into the biggest tourist trap I have ever seen! We only walked around for about 30 minutes, then went back to our ship. My dad went to the lumberjack show which had a really cheesy description in the excursion book, but he said it was great. They did a bunch of carvings and log rolling, and he said it was really entertaining. So, a word to the wise for you guys who may take a cruise to Alaska in the future - I would sign up for the lumberjack show in Ketchikan if I were you. Apparently it's worth it.

We only took one picture of the town which is too bad because on the way into town, it was float plane central. It was pretty cool to watch the planes taking off and landing, then rolling up onto the land runway. I had never seen anything like that before. It was cool! But no pictures. Boo.

Caulifower Zucchini Soup Followed By Salmon with Spinach Salad and Corn

Skagway, Alaska

Dog Sledding Day! We got up super early for our helicopter/dog sled excursion only to discover it had been cancelled due to bad weather up on the glacier. Luckily for us, they rescheduled us for later in the day. In the meantime, we wandered around Skagway which only exists because of the Yukon Gold Rush and is probably the town which has most preserved its historical look. Of course, it only exists today to cater to tourists, so it was pretty chatchka, but done in a much more charming way.

Later that morning, we caught our helicopter. I was really scared of it, but as soon as we lifted off, I decided I like helicopters waaaaay better than airplanes. You can barely feel any movement at all in the helicopter - if I couldn't see out the window that we were off the ground, I would never have known that we had taken off. Same with landing. Plus you can see EVERYTHING! There were 6 people in the helicopter plus the pilot, and Jonathan and I somehow scored the shotgun seats, so we got a great view! No pictures, though. I didn't want to be obnoxious and elbow the pilot or something while I was taking a shot.

When we got to the dog camp, there were about 280 dogs who all started barking madly when they saw us. Apparently they recognize the stylish orange safety vests we all had to wear, and they know when people in vests come, they get to run! They were so cute and excited!

They had two sleds hooked together, so the dogs were pulling three people plus the musher. Our musher was named Joe, and he was from Missouri. The person on the back sled got to stand up like they were driving and work the brake. Joe stood on the front sled and yelled commands at the dogs. I "drove" first. It was soooo fun! The dogs couldn't wait to get started and they did not want to stop! When we stopped, I had to stand on the brake with both feet to keep them from running away again!

Once we had gone around the trail, Joe took us over to the puppy pen. This is Chuck Norris. Chuck's a girl. But I bet she could still kick someone's ass.