Social Interaction

So, J finally gave in and joined facebook. And he immediately has more friends than I do. I should expect this by now. He is very friendly and doesn't discriminate against people the way I do ("she smelled like soup!"). He also actually wants to talk to people he once knew but hasn't talked to in years. And he believes they actually want to talk to him. But it STILL kind of gets under my skin. I actually feel genuine jealousy. Which is pretty strange since most of the time I'm sitting around in awe at how good I've got it.

Anyway, so I was thinking about how many times since we've known each other that J and I have met someone and that person has remembered J but not me. This happens almost every time we meet someone new for the second time. "Oh, yeah, Jonathan - you're so (insert positive adjective here)! What's your wife's name again?" Or, once, it was even "Oh, yeah, Jonathan, I remember you...but I don't remember her at all." Accompanied by a finger pointed directly at me. You'd think I'd be used to it now, but it hurts my feelings every time. STILL.

This sort of thing also always happened to me in high school when my best friend was the sort of bubbly type girl who everyone wants to have around. I remember distinctly having our first fight and admitting to her how jealous I was of her popularity. Or her personality, really. I was completely flabbergasted when she told me she was jealous of me right back. She was the kind of person who people told right to her face "You're so pretty," "You're so funny," or "You're so great! I love you!" No one ever said that kind of thing to me. Sometimes the creepy guy at the gas station would give me a Big Gulp for free or something, which I guess I was supposed to interpret as "You're so pretty!" But, really, I would rather have had the compliment. I told my friend this, and I remember her saying, "I'd rather have the free Big Gulp."

So, I guess I'm writing this post realizing that my personality is NEVER going to change. I have always been the one people don't remember, and I am consistently drawn toward the people who are remembered, which is only going to exacerbate my little complex. I am also not the friendliest person in the world, and that is not going to change either. I don't like talking to people I don't know. Hmmm. Maybe I should develop some kind of snob factor that makes me feel superior to everyone else. That way, when people don't remember me, I have some kind of snooty default reaction. I'll have to work on that.